Windy City Report

A Disaster of Biblical Proportions

2008-06-23T13:56:00.006-05:00

Them That Gots, Get

Ok, the title may be a little over the top, but three straight losses to the Cubs nauseates this South Sider.

That said, the Cubs have a good team, certainly good enough to reach the post season, barring the unforseen. Consistent hitting, something the Williams/Guillen entry will never achieve, decent pitching and a first class manager should bear post season fruit.

And get this, Cub GM Jim Hendry wants to improve the team with names like C.C. Sabathia and Erik Bedard spewed out by the rumor mill. All the while, the White Sox hierarchy seems quite content with their one dimensional band of underachievers.

Radio Ga-Ga

Mike North and crew were conspicuously absent from their morning gig today. In their place, Score wiseheads treated us to a heaping helping of Mulligan and Hanley.

I would have loved to hear Pasty's take on the weekend debacle in Wrigleyville. Instead I had to choose between Big John and Cisco, Mike and Mike or Don and Roma.

There's always books on tape...

Narcoleptic White Sox Snooze and Lose

The seemingly disinterested White Sox showed how little regard they have for the Crosstown Classic. Taking a cue from their stupified manager, they spent most of their time breaking bad on Wrigley Field, forgeting there were actual games to be played. Perhaps they can rekindle a fighting spirit before next weekend and the arrival of the Cubs to The Cell.

Un-Wise Recall Speaks Volumes

2008-06-17T15:20:00.011-05:00

As discussed, Paulie Walnuts goes on the DL. So what does White Sox Vice-President-In-Charge of Looking Out the Window do? He recalls Dewayne Wise.

Not Josh Fields...not Chris Getz, but the irreplaceable Dewayne Wise!

I saw enough of no talent slugs in 2007 like Andy Gonzalez, Luis Terrero and Dewon Day.

Dewayne Wise may be a good guy and an upstanding citizen but he's a career .197 hitter. Unfortunately, several Sox batsmen have put down roots near the "Mendoza Line', dare we add another?

Evidently our GM thinks so.

While Jim Hendry is working the phones intent on improving a powerhouse destined for the playoffs, Kenny Williams shores up a struggling roster with a guy who was launched by three previous organizations.

Move over Iowa, it appears Williams is presiding over his own farm disaster.

Addition By Subtraction

2008-06-17T08:56:00.008-05:00

First the thumb and now the pulled rib muscle, it's time for Paul Konerko and his anemic batting average, porous glove and feet of clay to take a seat for a couple-three weeks!

Can the Sox be worse off with Nick Swisher at first and Brian Anderson in center?

Our Heroes became energized when Juan Uribe was sent to the DL, thus riding a wave of excitement initiated by the sparkling play of Alexei Ramirez. Is it so unreasonable to assume the same could happen if good old #14 disappears for a while?

Konerko has been a solid performer and a three-time all-star since arriving from Cincinnati (in a trade for Mike Cameron). But to all appearances, his skills are waning and his penchant for the double play ground out at critical times is exasperating. His trade value has plummeted with the housing market and certainly former suitors like the Yankees and Angels have better ways to spend their money.

So a trade is doubtful but certainly a diminished role should be considered. Be it a platoon arrangement or the bench, a good first step is the DL. Kenny Williams and Ozzie Guillen have a difficult decision to make, allow a fan favorite to continue on an embarrassing decline or make a change and hold on to first place.

Your thoughts?

Williams' Fighters Not Convincing

2008-06-13T09:06:00.005-05:00

Last week, on the heels of an impressive seven game winning streak, Sox GM Kenny Williams extolled his team as a bunch of guys that never quit, "real fighters".

All evidence to the contrary this week in Detroit.

The underachieving Tigers had their way with the "Fighting White Sox”, besting our “Pugilistic Palehose” three of three.

Paul "DP" Konerko was back in form, while Swisher, Thome, Pierzynski, et, al were all but invisible. Even the usually reliable Javier Vasquez was made to look ordinary in the face of a rejuvenated Detroit line up.

Suggestion to the White Sox hierarchy:

Ozzie, keep talking, Kenny, shut up!

South Sider on the North Side

2008-06-08T09:28:00.006-05:00

It's time for WSCR radio listeners and dopey Chicago sports-scribes to get over it.

What?

The fact that Mike North makes a fabulous amount of money talking about sports, that's what!

All of you (and your friendly blogger, too) have said to yourselves, "I can do that".

Well the fact is North is and you aren't. North is brash, crude, passionate, boorish, hilarious and wildly successful. Without him leading off the days activities WSCR (670AM) becomes third rate noise. OMG, I can't go back to Don and Roma!

Anyway, WSCR management would be well advised to work things out, unless they truly believe their future lies with Mulligan and Hanley.

Can they be that stupid?

North says they are and he's probably right.

Sox Hitters Must Pitch In

2007-04-19T15:18:00.000-05:00

So far, the White Sox have been an embarrassment and GM Kenny Williams must be doing a slow burn. KW has been characterized as a man who hates to lose and it can be assumed that he doesn't suffer fools very well. Yet, his listless team continues to squeak about how cold it is, how their twitch muscles aren't stretched out and how they eventually will get the hang of this hitting thing. One hopes they don't wait too long.

Preseason wiseheads insisted the White Sox get off to a fast start, as they are sure to be in a season long brawl with the Indians and Tigers. Hell, they struggle against the Royals especially in Missouri where they accounted themselves miserably in 2006. The pitching has been encouraging and with a slight uptick in batsmenship, the Sox would be leading the division. However, they continue to sleepwalk through April as if they were still in Arizona. Mark Buehrle's magnificent no-hitter was only the second best bit of news Wednesday night, taking a back seat to the six runs that were scored by our heroes!

White Sox fans who implore, "What about the hitting" may have finally hit a responsive chord with the South Side gods. Let's hope they keeping listening!

Shawn Kemp Has Nothing On This Guy

2006-01-17T12:30:00.000-06:00

Scientists Discover Most Fertile Irish Male

By Siobhan Kennedy

(Reuters) Scientists in Ireland may have found the country's most fertile male, with more than 3 million men worldwide among his offspring.

The scientists, from Trinity College Dublin, have discovered that as many as one in twelve Irish men could be descended from Niall of the Nine Hostages, a 5th-century warlord who was head of the most powerful dynasty in ancient Ireland.

His genetic legacy is almost as impressive as Genghis Khan, the Mongol emperor who conquered most of Asia in the 13th century and has nearly 16 million descendants, said Dan Bradley, who supervised the research.

"It's another link between profligacy and power," Bradley told Reuters. "We're the first generation on the planet where if you're successful you don't (always) have more children."

The research was carried out by PhD student Laoise Moore, at the Smurfit Institute of Genetics at Trinity. Moore, testing the Y chromosome which is passed on from fathers to sons, examined DNA samples from 800 males across Ireland.

The results -- which have been published in the American Journal of Human Genetics -- showed the highest concentration of related males in northwest Ireland, where one in five males had the same Y chromosome.

Bradley said the results reminded the team of a similar study in central Asia, where scientists found 8 percent of men with the same Y chromosome. Subsequent studies found they shared the same chromosome as the dynasty linked to Genghis Khan.

GENGHIS KHAN EFFECT

"It made us wonder if there could be some sort of Genghis Khan effect in Ireland and the best candidate for it was Niall," Bradley said.

His team then consulted with genealogical experts who provided them with a contemporary list of people with surnames that are genealogically linked to the last known relative of the "Ui Neill" dynasty, which literally means descendants of Niall.

The results showed the new group had the same chromosome as those in the original sample, proving a link between them and the Niall descendents.

"The frequency (of the Y chromosome) was significantly higher in that genealogical group than any other group we tested," said Bradley, whose surname is also linked to the medieval warlord. Other modern surnames tracing their ancestry to Niall include Gallagher, Boyle, O'Donnell and O'Doherty.

For added proof, the scientists used special techniques to age the Y chromosome, according to how many mutations had occurred in the genetic material over time. The number of mutations was found to be in accordance with chromosomes that would date back to the last known living relative of Niall.

Niall reportedly had 12 sons, many of whom became powerful Irish kings themselves. But because he lived in the 5th century, there have been doubts the king -- who is said to have brought the country's patron saint, Patrick, to Ireland -- even existed.

"Before I would have said that characters like Niall were almost mythological, like King Arthur, but this actually puts flesh on the bones," Bradley said.

When international databases were checked, the chromosome also turned up in roughly 2 percent of all male New York

"Jerry Who" Keeps On Ticking

2006-01-02T14:03:00.000-06:00

Back when it became apparent the Bears desperately needed a GM to get the franchise right, the candidates of choice were, among others, Tom Donahoe and Tom Modrak. I knew little of ether other than they worked for the Steelers, a franchise with a successful recent history. They had stability at head coach with Bill Cowher and weathered an excruciating stream of free agent defections. Yep, how could the Bears go wrong if either were hired.

However, the Steel City dynamic duo shuffled off to snowy Buffalo, while Bears Prez Ted Philips acquiesced to the NFL's wishes and conducted a contrived manhunt for the perfect executive. The long inexorable search yielded Jerry Angelo. Oh, how the local scribes and talking heads snickered when Angelo was introduced at his unveiling, launching into a Norm Crosby-esque opening speech. OK, so public speaking isn’t his long suit.

Saddled with a head coach (Dick Jauron) he didn't want after the mirage of 2001, JA made the best of things, revamping pro and collegiate scouting departments, drafting players and signing free agent veterans to plug various gaps in talent. When he could no longer stand Coach Dick’s brand of football, he cleaned house (with Mama McCasley's imprimatur) and brought in Lovie Smith.

Fast forward to January 2006; Angelo's Bears have won the NFC North (beating the Packers twice), earning a first round bye. His organization is preparing for a home divisional playoff with the Panthers, Bucs or Giants.

In the meantime, Tom Donahoe is about to be ashcanned in Buffalo, perhaps Modrak too. Rich McKay and his excitable coach Jim Mora Jr. missed the playoffs with an exceptional athlete at QB who should be playing a different position.

Has JA made mistakes? God yes, they all do, but few enough to have caused the rest of the league to look toward Chicago with envy. The Monsters are two victories from a Super weekend in Detroit (yes, there is such a thing).

...and that is nothing at which to snicker!

Elevator Music

2005-12-30T23:05:00.003-06:00

Forget Executive of the Year, Kenny Williams wins it for the decade!

I see Bears playoff tix are going for $500.00 a pop on Stub Hub. Decisions, decisions...

Looking for a career in Chicago sports radio? Two words of encouragement; Canellis and Dickerson.

From the "How The Mighty Have Fallen Department"; the Tribune's Paul Sullivan reports the Orioles prefer Carlos Zambrano to Mark Prior.

Surprising how calmly Bulls GM John Paxson has accepted his team's free fall.

Poor Cub fans; they're still dealing with the phrase, "World Champion White Sox". Now they must come to grips with the fact that the 2006 South Siders will be markedly better!

Advice to Coach Lovie Smith; Get Rex Grossman off the field Sunday before he gets cheap-shotted by a Viking defender.

I tuned in to the Illinois/Tennessee-Martin game yesterday. The Illini was up 27-1, mid first half. As Ed Norton once said, "That wasn't a blitz, it was a blountz!"

The Mayor is at it again; talking Olympics AND another NFL team for our fair city. Neither will ever happen, but it tickles me every time he makes the suggestion.

Not sports related but, I love the imagery. From the Associated Press:

FREMONT, Calif. -- A pack of angry Chihuahuas attacked a police officer who was escorting a teenager home after a traffic stop, authorities said.

The officer suffered minor injuries, including bites to his ankle, Detective Bill Veteran said.

The five Chihuahuas escaped the 17-year-old boy's home and rushed the officer in the doorway Thursday, authorities said. The teenager had been detained after the traffic incident.

The officer was treated at a hospital and returned to work less than two hours later.

Hmmmm...how does "Chicago Chihuahuas" sound for an NFL franchise?

With that, I wish you a Happy New Year!

Reality Is The Color Red

2005-08-14T11:12:00.000-05:00

Jerry Reinsdorf's two stooges, Ken Harrelson and Darrin Jackson love to compare their beloved White Sox to the other good teams in the American League. Harrelson's favorite question during these useless sessions is "Who's better DJ?” In one such think-tank, Harrelson demanded to know how the Red Sox could be considered better than his Pale Hose. Pitching? Defense? Hitting? It's amazing "The Hawk" can see the field through his rose colored glasses.

I assume "The Hawk" now has an answer to his query, as his former employers have slapped the South Siders silly in the first two games of this series. Regardless of what happens Sunday in Beantown, there's no doubt which color Sox is higher on the pennant pole.

This is not to denigrate what the Sox of White have done thus far; it's been a remarkable season. Truth to tell, when your starting studs are gelded on consecutive nights, it makes you wonder if the post season race is winnable. It’s one thing to pick on the likes of Kansas City and Detroit but the cheese gets binding when the good teams roll into town.

If the White Sox head west, they have Oakland to deal with, looking east, perhaps the Boston Strong Boys (as Bob Elsen was found of saying) are rolling up their sleeves. The Yankees and Angels don’t exactly swoon when Ozzie’s minions come to town.

The Sox are good, no doubt, but as the good doctor says, GET REAL! The White Sox need some help and it’s been their good fortune to build an insurmoutable lead so as to use the second half of this season for evaluation of the roster. Getting back to Harrelson; being interviewed on a local sports gabfest, he was asked about the possibility of the Sox (ours) acquiring Ken Griffey Jr. His response, “Where are we going to play him?” This, from the worst General Manager in American league history.

Honest-to-God, he said that!

He also said “we”, as if he had a say in the matter.

Earth to Hawkeroo, Griffey is a first ballot HOFer but Harrelson is in love with Carl Everett who is hitting .265 and can barely run from here to there.

I still anticipate Ken Williams making a move to strengthen the team and that could be Griffey who reportedly has cleared waivers. If true, Williams will make every effort to bring him here and that could possibly adjust the preferred color level from Red to White.

What About The Hitting?

2005-08-07T13:26:00.000-05:00

I see the ESPN Insider as well as local radio is reporting Kenny Williams still pursuing Ken Griffey Jr. or some left-handed bat with a heartbeat. I'm going out on a limb here, but Geoff Blum is not the answer. I'm amazed the guy came here hitting .241. My four-year-old grandson takes more aggressive swings!

Anyhoo, let's not get too excited about the Griffey rumors. The guy's making a ton of dough and Cincy wants to unload the salary. Sure, Sox fans are spinning the turnstiles now, but every penny budgeted for Griffey means less for Jerry Reinsdorf's partners. Remember, JR like Hyman Roth,..."always makes money for his partners!"

If Williams lassos Griffey, great, but the lesser lights mentioned in the rumor mill like Adam Dunn or Lyle Overbay work for me, although Overbay's Brewers are still fighting for a Wild card spot.

August is a brutal month for vets like Cal Everett who has already gone down with a pulled muscle, so Ozzie Guillen will need to rest him to get him into the playoffs healthy. There are too many guys in the Sox line-up hitting in the .250 range for my liking. Anybody here have confidence this line-up can succeed against Oakland in the first round.

Of course, that's what this is all about at this point. A one and out performance renders the White Sox a joke swept away into the MLB dustbin of futility. GM Williams does not want to see that happen and will do something soon. Unlike Cub fans, Williams knows South Siders won’t be satisfied with "almost".

While cheerleaders like Ken Harrelson and Darrin Jackson shake their pompons in the booth, real Sox fans see trouble ahead without a little help from the GM.

Palehose Ponderin'

2005-07-22T13:51:00.000-05:00

In the famous Three Stooges film entitled “Three Little Pigskins”, craggy faced team owner Joe Stacks assures the Stooges (who are impersonating college athletes) that they won’t lose their amateur status because, “…no one will ever hear ya play, no one will ever see ya play…we’ll play behind closed doors!”

Perhaps Joe Stacks was on to something, because where the White Sox are concerned, recent large crowds at Comiskey Cell have produced amateurish results. The South Siders have lost 6 of 7 at home and in those losses, 207,000 of the faithful have exited the ball yard in sullen disappointment. Weak hitting, poor relief pitching, less than sparkling defense and a general malaise have punctuated recent performances. Ozzy (as in Osbourne) Ball seems to have taken root recently; our heroes are in a fog!

How a team can appear so invincible against rival Cleveland on the road and turn into meek sisters against Oakland? It confounds all understanding. Last night's loss to the Red Sox was disappointing on many levels; Mark Buehrle, Joe Crede and Tad Iguchi "contributed" in a negative fashion. Certainly, maligned White Sox fans have done their part, as Owner Jerry and GM Ken Williams demanded.

It seems fly balls that Aaron Rowand would run down in center field are now bouncing off his glove. Line drives Joe Crede would snatch are now making it through. Over 162 games, the most powerful juggernaut is bound to look human and boy do the Sox look mortal. Surprisingly, these struggles come on the heels of Ken Williams’ announcement that nothing is imminent regarding trades. Williams is a pretty good poker player when it comes to keeping his cards hidden, so one must believe that Trader Kenny has an ace up his sleeve.

You can tell a lot more about a team when they are struggling. When things are going well, they all belong in Cooperstown, if you listen to Hawk and DJ. Frank Thomas is hurting and ineffective, Crede has a bad back, Paul Konerko should be platooned with Ross Gload and Jose Vizcaino belongs in Charlotte. Look for GM Williams to shake things up just a bit. A wake up call is in order.

No doubt, the Sox will snap out of it, but it’s doubtful they’ll return to their torrid first half pace. As the team stands now, who among the faithful believes they can compete with Boston, New York, The Angels or heaven forbid, Oakland in the post-season? GM Williams has seen enough to know upgrades are required. There will never be a better season to wager all his chips.

Roll dice, Trader Ken!

Herpes-Like Punk Won't Go Away

2005-07-17T19:00:00.000-05:00

When you play for the Bears, even marginally well, you can achieve icon status in Chicago. The sports airwaves are crawling with retirees that bring little to the fore other than their connection to the Beloved. But that’s all right; most of them are a link to happier, more successful times. At any moment during the football season you are certain to be regaled with commentary from a group that includes, Doug Buffone, Bob Avellini, Steve McMichael, Dave Duerson, Ed O’Bradovich, Mike Ditka, Gary Fencik, Jim Schwantz, Erik Kramer and Gale Sayers. You would think the Bears a perennial powerhouse with all of these graying grizzlies prowling the airwaves. Can anyone doubt the hold this franchise has over Chicago sports fans?

I’m not complaining, mind you. Except for Kramer they have all settled in Chicago and openly express their loyalty to “the Beloved”. In addition, they contribute an expertise and passion that entertains, if not totally informs. On the other hand, there’s Jim McMahon.

Jim McMahon arrived in Chicago from Brigham Young University after battling with legendary Coach LaVelle Edwards. Fighting the strict environment of the Mormon school every step of the way, McMahon never the less felt slighted by his alma mater.

"BYU never bothered to push me much for the Heisman," he told ESPN Classic.

Poor baby!

In Chicago, he fashioned his punky QB image while going head to head with Mike Ditka who arrived the year before. Never has a Chicago Bear given so little and received so much in return. Talk about being in the right place at the right time; riding the coattails of Buddy Ryan’s 46-Defense all the way to a Super Bowl. Any number of quarterbacks could have driven the ‘85 Bears bus to New Orleans that year. In fact, Steve Fuller, no Hall of Famer by any stretch, stepped in when the brittle McMahon went down midyear. The team never missed a beat.

McMahon endeared himself to the local fans because of his overt disrespect for team Chairman and Halas Grandson, Mike McCaskey. The insufferable McCaskey was no walk in the park and McMahon resented the rich kid from Winnetka holding the Super Bowl trophy while he woofed his way down Michigan Avenue in the post Super Bowl parade. To his credit, McMahon correctly predicted the Bears would never establish a consistent winner under the McCaskey regime, opining, “ownership wouldn’t pay for it”.

As our out of shape hero struggled to stay healthy in subsequent years, he was unceremoniously dispatched to the San Diego Chargers in the summer of 1989. The oft- injured, loud-mouthed veteran was of little use to the Monsters and his bad boy image wouldn’t play in Peoria, much less Chicago anymore. What worked in 1985 had grown lame four years later. Ironically, the “Pudgy QB” faced his former team in an exhibition game at Soldier Field that season in which McMahon sycophant, QB Mike Tomczak supposedly hand signaled called plays across the sidelines. Naturally Tomczak and his mentor deny the charge.

I remember the Jim McMahon that came into camp the year after the Super Bowl woefully out of shape (by his own admission); the McMahon that was injured the first week of that season and was ineffective throughout the year when he did play, the McMahon that stunk up Soldier Field against the 49ers in the 1988 playoffs.

Long since retired and living the life of a golf bum, good old #9 is quite a bit older but a punk nevertheless. He comes out of the shadows only when it serves his personal interests. A few years back, he showed up to pitch a newly opened restaurant

"I'm serious about it,” he said at the time. “I don't have to worry this time about getting (taken) like I did with the restaurant in Chicago. I had that place three years and I got one check for $3,000, even though it was packed every night.”

He was serious, granting interviews to a select group of ass kissers on local radio, the premise being he has something cogent to offer regarding the Bears. Don’t expect too much from Jimmy Mac during these sessions, as most of the time he struggles to formulate a cogent thought. When asked about the team’s rise to success back in 2001, McMahon offered that he doesn’t watch them play, but “heard they’re pretty good”.

This is a guy who once ridiculed fans for driving to Platteville to take in Bears summer practices, wondering why they “didn’t have anything better to do”. Now he’s angling for them to spend their disposable cash in his self-named, slop-shoot restaurant. McMahon wants to be remembered by Bear fans only when it puts greenbacks in his poke.

When will these guys learn? Former Bear linebacker, Doug Buffone found out the quality of your bill of fare and service are ultimately more important than what team with which you played. At least Buffone is blessed with an endearing personality and tireless work ethic. He was able to parlay these gifts into a successful radio career.

Now we see McMahon’s bloated face on a television commercial for a charity golf event and it probable that addlebrained sycophants will follow him around the greensward, only to be thought lame by a guy who never appreciated the fans or the honor of playing in Chicago.

Here’s hoping he returns to his deep, dank hole soon after the final round.

Sox Fans Can't Catch A Break!

2005-07-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

Let's see; Arnold Rothstein in 1919, Charley Neal and Johnny Podres in 1959, the "Strike of '94" and now this...

...Osama must be a Cubs fan!

From The World Net Daily and Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin:

WASHINGTON – As London recovers from the latest deadly al-Qaida attack that killed at least 50, top U.S. government officials are contemplating what they consider to be an inevitable and much bigger assault on America – one likely to kill millions, destroy the economy and fundamentally alter the course of history, reports Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin.

According to captured al-Qaida leaders and documents, the plan is called the "American Hiroshima" and involves the multiple detonation of nuclear weapons already smuggled into the U.S. over the Mexican border with the help of the MS-13 street gang and other organized crime groups.

Al-Qaida has obtained at least 40 nuclear weapons from the former Soviet Union – including suitcase nukes, nuclear mines, artillery shells and even some missile warheads. In addition, documents captured in Afghanistan show al-Qaida had plans to assemble its own nuclear weapons with fissile material it purchased on the black market.

In addition to detonating its own nuclear weapons already planted in the U.S., military sources also say there is evidence to suggest al-Qaida is paying former Russian special forces Spetznaz to assist the terrorist group in locating nuclear weapons formerly concealed inside the U.S. by the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Osama bin Laden's group is also paying nuclear scientists from Russia and Pakistan to maintain its existing nuclear arsenal and assemble additional weapons with the materials it has invested hundreds of millions in procuring over a period of 10 years.

The plans for the devastating nuclear attack on the U.S. have been under development for more than a decade. It is designed as a final deadly blow of defeat to the U.S., which is seen by al-Qaida and its allies as "the Great Satan."

At least half the nuclear weapons in the al-Qaida arsenal were obtained for cash from the Chechen terrorist allies.

But the most disturbing news is that high level U.S. officials now believe at least some of those weapons have been smuggled into the U.S. for use in the near future in major cities as part of this "American Hiroshima" plan, according to an upcoming book, "The Al Qaeda Connection: International Terrorism, Organized Crime and the Coming Apocalypse," by Paul L. Williams, a former FBI consultant.

According to Williams, former CIA Director George Tenet informed President Bush one month after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks that at least two suitcase nukes had reached al-Qaida operatives in the U.S.

"Each suitcase weighed between 50 and 80 kilograms (approximately 110 to 176 pounds) and contained enough fissionable plutonium and uranium to produce an explosive yield in excess of two kilotons," wrote Williams. "One suitcase bore the serial number 9999 and the Russian manufacturing date of 1988. The design of the weapons, Tenet told the president, is simple. The plutonium and uranium are kept in separate compartments that are linked to a triggering mechanism that can be activated by a clock or a call from the cell phone."

Bin Laden, according to Williams, has nearly unlimited funds to spend on his nuclear terrorism plan because he has remained in control of the Afghanistan-produced heroin industry. Poppy production has greatly increased even while U.S. troops are occupying the country, he writes. Al-Qaida has developed close relations with the Albanian Mafia, which assists in the smuggling and sale of heroin throughout Europe and the U.S.

Some of that money is used to pay off the notorious MS-13 street gang between $30,000 and $50,000 for each sleeper agent smuggled into the U.S. from Mexico. The sleepers are also provided with phony identification, most often bogus matricula consular ID cards indistinguishable from Mexico's official ID, now accepted in the U.S. to open bank accounts and obtain driver's licenses.

According to Williams' sources, thousands of al-Qaida sleeper agents have now been forward deployed into the U.S. to carry out their individual roles in the coming "American Hiroshima" plan.

There is virtually no doubt among intelligence analysts al-Qaida has obtained fully assembled nuclear weapons, according to Williams. The only question is how many. Estimates range between a dozen and 70. The breathtaking news is that an undetermined number of these weapons, including suitcase bombs, mines and crude tactical nuclear weapons, have already been smuggled into the U.S. – at least some across the U.S.-Mexico border.

In response to the G2 Bulletin revelations, Chris Simcox, founder of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps, a citizen action group demanding the U.S. government take control of its borders, said an immediate military presence on the borders is now imperative "to stop the overwhelming influx of unidentified, potentially hostile and seditious persons coming across at an alarming rate."

"Bad Guys" Send Sox Stumbling To The Break

2005-07-10T20:32:00.000-05:00

Sure the White Sox are maddeningly ineffective against the Oakland A's but that's no reason to denigrate what they've accomplished thus far. From all appearances, the All-Star break comes at the right time, so our heroes can ponder what it will take to finish off the season in style.

There’s no doubt the A’s have a plan when playing the Sox and they stick to it doggedly. They displayed incredible patience at the plate, slapping singles and drilling extra base hits all over the greensward on 35th St. For all you youngsters out there, if you don’t understand what “going with the pitch” means, just watch Ken Macha’s crew. In fact, Ozzie's boys should consider the same approach when they head to Cleveland after the break.

That aside, the White Sox are sitting pretty with a nine game lead and three days to contemplate what lies ahead. It also gives Sox GM Ken Williams a chance to consider upcoming roster moves that are already in the works.

We do know Ross Gload, Damaso Marte and Orlando Hernandez are healthy and ready to return. The likely candidates to head for the bushes are Willie Harris, Bobby Jenks and Kevin Walker. Personally, I've seen enough of Luis Vizcaino and would send him packing in favor of Jenks, who struggled Saturday night. With a fastball approaching 100 MPH, he's worthy of more time with the varsity.

Willie Harris had a terrible series, leaving runners stranded or unable to execute a critical sacrifice bunt. Harris is no great shakes with the glove either, so why have him around. Kevin Walker's only redeeming quality is his “southpawness”.

Gload's return should have an immediate impact, providing a much-needed bat from the left side and more importantly a viable alternative to the struggling Paul Konerko. Despite his five hit Sunday, Konerko has been struggling and seldom hits in the clutch. Gload should get plenty of time even if the inconsistent Konerko catches fire.

Marte struggled before the injury, but he's light years ahead of Walker. What about Hernandez? His 7-2 record is solid but with an ERA close to 5.00 it remains to be seen if he can be relied on in the second half. If he struggles out of the second half gate, look for Williams to make a trade.

As for the rest of the roster, Aaron Rowand is in obvious need of a few days off, hitting well below the Mendoza line the last week. His was clutch early on but has faded lately. Look for good old #33 to come back from the break ready for action. Joe Crede should be ready to return from his back spasms. It’s critical that he comes out strong offensively or Williams may move him. The White Sox do not engender confidence that they can hit against top flight pitching so Williams may be forced to bring in another bat if a World Series appearance is the goal

Saturday night, the White Sox performance ranged from disinterested to slovenly. The best pick to click was the fireworks crew this night. It got so bad, Guillen had to bench Juan Uribe for becoming a spectator when he launched a fly ball down the left field line. Ozzie sent the message and a recurrence is not anticipated.

Grandsons Jake and Luke attended Saturday night; it was Luke’s first major league game. When asked if he had fun, he stated in the affirmative while remarking that he likes “the bad guys”. I was stumped!

“Yeah Papa, the bad guys in the gray uniforms. They’re better!”

Even, a four year old, highly intelligent to be sure, saw it clearly. I expect his father will be getting him out there again to see the real White Sox before that kind of thinking becomes problematic!

Gone, Long Gone

2005-07-07T11:08:00.000-05:00

From MercuryNews.com:

James Henry Smith was a zealous Pittsburgh Steelers fan in life, and even death could not keep him from his favorite spot: in a recliner, in front of a TV showing his beloved team in action.

Smith, 55, of Pittsburgh, died of prostate cancer last Thursday. On Tuesday night, his viewing (wake) featured a room arrangement much like Smith's living room. His body was on the recliner, his feet crossed and a remote in his hand. He wore black and gold silk pajamas, slippers and a robe. A pack of cigarettes and a beer were at his side, while a high-definition TV played a continuous loop of Steelers highlights.

``I couldn't stop crying after looking at the Steelers blanket in his lap,'' said his sister, MaryAnn Nails, 58.

Longtime friend Mary Jones called the viewing ``a celebration.''

``I saw it and I couldn't even cry,'' she said. ``People will see him the way he was.''

Smith's burial plans were more traditional -- he'll be laid to rest in a casket.

*********************************************************

Speaking of dead and buried...

What is Jim Hendry doing to pull the Little Blue Machine out of their current slide? I'm surprised at the Cub GM, who I pegged as one of the best in baseball. The cell phone crowd on Clark and Addison are waiting for something to stop the bleeding yet Hendry sits on his hands.

Cub observers identified this road trip as pivotal. Thus far it's been an unmitigated disaster. A weak division is the Cubs strongest ally at this point, but a few more losses before the All-Star break may lead to a total breakdown heading into the second half….

…at which time, the GM would most likely decide to unload some high priced flotsam.

Time To Abandon McCarthy?

2005-07-05T10:22:00.000-05:00

I’ve seen this movie before. It’s a short subject about a “can’t miss” pitching prospect that bursts onto the scene with impressive skills. Trouble is, short also describes their time in White Sox pinstripes, as these phenoms flame out like falling stars in the midnight sky. The latest wunderkind to grace the mound at 35th and Veeck is Brandon McCarthy.

Young Master McCarthy pitched well in Arizona this past spring, where many a newcomer looks like Cooperstown material. Unfortunately, when the veterans start swinging in earnest, the weak are devoured like hapless wildebeest.

McCarthy pitched 24 1/3 innings and was 0-1 with an 8.14 ERA…

…and now he’s gone

''A lot of young kids go through it,'' remarked Ozzie Guillen. “I was high on him in spring training. I fell in love with him, but so far he hasn't gotten it done. He came up from Class AA. It's not fair for him to suffer.”

It’s the paying customers who suffer most of all, buying into the hype; hoping the predictions are true; listening to team cheerleader Hawk Harrelson marvel at McCarthy’s maturity and skill. And people wonder why Sox fans are so jaded? They root, root, root for this never-ending procession of mound saviors, only to see them fizzle like damp sparklers.

To wit:

Larry Monroe
Johnny Ruffin
Scott Ruffcorn
Jon Rauch
Aaron Myette
Scott Eyre

Will McCarthy grace this list? Hopefully not, but nothing he’s done so far justifies the hullabaloo that preceded him.

Depending on the criteria used, you can add to the list. The jury is still out on cannon the fodder Guillen paraded out to the mound last year in search of a reliable fifth starter (Arnie Munoz, Josh Stewart and Felix Diaz). Perhaps one of them may learn to pitch in Chicago or elsewhere; don’t hold your breath.

How refreshing when a guy like Mark Buehrle emerges with the right stuff without all the hype. It’s an inexact science to be sure and you can see why GM Ken Williams is prone to trade these commodities since so few ever make it.

That said, WCR wishes all the best to McCarthy; here’s hoping he learns from the experience and comes back with a clue. However, if GM Williams finds a taker and can improve the 2005 White Sox McCarthy may find himself honing his craft in someone else’s farm system.

Defeatist Sox Can't Shake Oakland Jinx

2005-07-03T20:25:00.000-05:00

For a team regarded as the best in baseball, the White Sox looked silly in laying a twenty megaton egg on Sunday afternoon in Oakland. Seemingly in control in the sixth inning leading 2-zip, the White Sox spit the bit and pissed one away.

It started in their half when the Sox found themselves with Pablo Ozuna on third, one out and Thomas and Konerko due up. A's lefty Barry Zito made both look impotent as a golden opportunity passed. In Oakland's half, a struggling Buehrle pitched like a rookie struggling with location, working opposing batters into 0-2 holes only to give up crucial hits and playing the field like Dr. Strangeglove".

"Just another day in Oakland," Ozzie Guillen told assembled scribes. "We were playing well, but the sixth and seventh came along and we didn't make the plays we needed and the game got away. Every time we come here, something always happens."

Guillen has Sox Announcer Darrin Jackson convinced of the jinx theory; that's all Ken Harrelson's caddy talked about for three days. It's gotten so bad, the guys in the booth find their sphincters tightening. Maybe that was good old #56's problem.

"It was one of those games. They got hits and scored on my mistakes," Buehrle said. "It's kind of frustrating. There's something here like a little jinx on us. We just don't play well here. It just keeps adding up here everything we do seems to be affected."

Problem is, our heroes aren't that much better in Anaheim, where they may end up playing some games in the post season. Their West Coast frame of mind had better improve if they hope to succeed in Chavez Ravine in October. Maybe the Sox will draw some inspiration from Peter Gammon's anointing of LA/Anaheim as the best in baseball. One can only hope.

As predicted here a few days ago, Kenny Williams will continue to improve the roster and one rumor has him going after Jason Schmidt of the Giants. Schmidt got pounded on Sunday by the Padres and is recently off the DL, but if that's Williams guy, so be it. The Sox GM keeps his plans well guraded, so anything can happen.

The point is, after Sunday's miserable showing, take nothing for granted. It's a long season and there are no white flags flying in Minnesota and Cleveland.

This WILL Feed The Bull Dog!

2005-07-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

This guy makes almost as much as A-Rod!

From "The Sun"

LONDON -- Life is good for Prince Charles: his bank account is growing and he has found contentment with his new wife.

The income of the heir to the British throne rose by 11% last year to more than 13 million pounds ($23 million US), according to an annual financial report released by his household yesterday.

The cover of the report was dominated by a photograph of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, who wed Charles on April 9 after a love affair spanning several decades. Until now, Camilla has been mentioned only fleetingly in the prince's accounts.

"Marriage is a good thing. The two of them are very happy and things have settled down nicely," said Sir Michael Peat, the couple's private secretary.

The figures show Charles got more than $23 million in income from his Duchy of Cornwall estate in the financial year 2004-05 compared with $21.4 million in 2003-04.

Radio Ga-Ga

2005-06-19T18:37:00.000-05:00

Inside of a week, the Chicago sport radio landscape brightened considerably with the news that Rick Telander and Steve Rosenbloom were leaving "The Score". The former wants to spend more time with his family while the latter wants to spend more time with Las Vegas gamblers. No matter, Chicago sports radio listeners are the true winners.

Telander's hiring was a mystery from the get-go and rarely did he bring anything close to energy to his shows, although his job was made harder having been saddled with the somnambulant Doug Buffone. Good old #55 was a helluva linebacker but less than useless behind the microphone. A casualty of the Telander misfire was John Hood who was kicked to the curb to handle weekend duties. Hood has more passion and creativity in his chubby little pinky than his former sidekicks combined.

Rosenbloom was, is and always will be a slimy, bellyacher with the personality of a rat snake. Vegas is the prefect place for him. Here's hoping he makes it his permanent address.

The Score is now Mike North's station, as if there ever was a doubt. His morning show is interesting and the chemistry he's developed with Anne Maxfield and Fred Huebner is solid. Some of his non-sports guests leave your scratching your head and when that happens, I hit the button and listen to Bill Bennett or Laura Ingraham on WIND.

After North, two midday knuckleheads run their tired act out for fours hours, followed by the shamble that was once Telander's offering. Things get better when Mike Murphy arrives. Weekends? Well, let say they are sad, very sad. That should be alleviated somewhat with the arrival of the White Sox in 2006.

Sports radio in Chicago has relied on personality at the expense of content. With so much happening in sports these days, it's difficult to find thoughtful conversation on either station but little improvement is expected in that regard.

The best radio heard around here in years was the stunning Mike North/Scott Skiles interview. It was quintessential North from beginning to end. There isn't another host that could have pulled it off. Perhaps some of North’s ballsy showmanship will rub off on the rest of the crew. For all of North's crudities, he doesn't shrink from tough issues. Give the guy credit; he's a self-made Chicago sports radio all-star on a struggling second division squad.

Solid Sox Look Good With Williams

2005-06-17T13:58:00.000-05:00

Now that June is half over, it’s obvious this White Sox team is for real. That said, the Twins are in the rear view mirror and every bit the contender as Ozzie's boys. The problem is, they possess better hitting and comparable pitching and defense.

So, who do you think will win the division?

The Sox should because they’ve got Kenny Williams. I know nothing of Twins GM Terry Ryan but I have seen Williams in action the last few years. He knows he's as close as he's ever been to the World Series and he won't remain inactive if Rome begins smoldering.

So what rabbit will Trader Kenny pull out of his hat?

We've seen what Joe Crede can do at the plate and it ain't pretty. On many occasions this year he has appeared clueless as he upper cuts and flails helplessly. But nobody should doubt his prowess around third base. Does Williams sacrifice defense for a bat? I think not.

The White Sox need another starter. I don't know who's available, that's Williams' job. I DO know that Orland "El Duque" Hernandez is struggling and his countryman Jose Contreras is inconsistent at best. Add to that Jon Garland’s slowly rising ERA and you have some cause for concern. Garland is the pitching surprise of the year. Here's hoping he doubles his win total the rest of the way, but a distant bell tells me something is amiss.

Earlier in the season Garland was breaking bats as he ran pitches in on right-handed batters. Lately he's gone back to nibbling...away...away...away...The six run pounding he took the other night was offset by a ten run White Sox inning and a cheap 11th win. We'll take it.

Back to Crede; it's doubtful Williams will trade him. If he hits .250, it more than justifies his presence in the line-up. Look for Trader Kenny to unload a minor leaguer or two to bring in another arm. I’d prefer a starter but with Shingo and Marte struggling, he may go the set-up route.

If the Sox fall short after such a magnificent start, it will be disappointing, but it won't be due to a lack of effort by the GM. Trader Kenny won't stand idle if his team begins to struggle.

Manager Most Foul

2005-05-23T12:42:00.000-05:00

Ozzie Guillen loves the limelight and the accolades that accompany the best record in baseball. For the most part, good old #13 has done well at the helm of the Good Ship Palehose. Unfortunately, he’s revealed himself as a churlish bully when the local scribes dare ask tough questions.

Take yesterday's post game antics as an example.

Veteran TV reporter Brad Palmer had the unmitigated gall to inquire why The Wizard yanked Brandon McCarthy from yesterday’s game. From all appearances, the rookie had things under control, but Ozzie, playing the protective, fatherly skipper, gave the kid the hook.

"Don't second-guess me," snapped Ozzie. I always give my pitcher the best opportunity to win the game. This kid came from the minor leagues and gave us the best chance to win the game.”

The question still stands; why take him out?

"Second-guess me, after the [expletive] happens? I want this kid to leave the mound with his head up and a chance to win the game at the big-league level."

Hey Ozzie, expletive did happen, almost before McCarthy’s ass hit the bench.

BRDSR of White Sox Interactive seems to have figured out Guillen’s latest tantrum:

“ Maybe lifting McCarthy at 80 pitches while he's pretty much cruising in his major league debut, only to watch your least successful relief pitcher give up a single and a home run. Maybe that’s what he's mad about.”

The next time Guillen goes off on the press to cover a lame brained decision, Kenny Williams should shove a bar of Lifebuoy in manager's foul mush. Perhaps it’s the only way he’ll learn to respect White Sox fans that deserve answers to reporter’s questions.

Enough Already!

2005-04-26T15:06:00.000-05:00

Before the draft, the so-called experts weighed in on whom the Bears should select. Post draft, the same lame brained experts opined on how bad Jerry Angelo and crew performed.

There is only one guy who knows enough about college talent to be considered "expert" and that man is ESPN's Mel Kiper. College football and the NFL Draft is his stock in trade. Forget Mike North, Doug Buffone, your Uncle Joe from Portland or even Jerry Angelo. Kiper is the one quality guy who knows this stuff.

Here is how he grades the Bears work last weekend:

Grade: A-

Analysis: Cedric Benson has all the makings of a star running back and Mark Bradley fills a need at wide receiver while also bringing excellent special-teams skills to the table. Getting Kyle Orton gives the Bears a nice backup who will fill in capably should quarterback Rex Grossman go down again. Receiver Airese Curry made sense in the fifth round and the late-round safeties could become contributors as well.

All you other nimrods, take a chill pill and watch baseball for the next few months. For my part, I prefer to evaluate these guys when they don the navy and orange.

THAT'S IT!

At Last; Some Good News!

2005-03-23T13:52:00.000-06:00

Its been a rough year for us, what with a steady stream of bad news including; Iraq, tsunamis, sexual predators (including teachers), injured Cub pitchers, juiced up athletes before Congress, perverted rock stars and Terri Schiavo.

However, a soothing breeze from the "Land Down Under" offers relief from these troubled waters...

Australia Proposes Lifting Ban on Roquefort Cheese

Wed Mar 23,11:23 AM ET

SYDNEY (AFP) - It's been banned in Australia for a decade but Roquefort cheese is likely to make a comeback here to the delight of gourmands thanks to an application from the French government.

Food Standards Australia New Zealand (FSANZ) has recommended that the renowned, blue-veined cheese made from raw sheep's milk be approved for sale in Australia and has opened the suggestion to public comment.

Australia's food standards code currently requires milk used in cheese production be heat-treated to prevent health risks from bacteria such as e.coli and lysteria.

However, raw milk cheeses may be sold if they are considered to have the same level of safety as pasteurised milk and, as such, the French government applied in 2003 for Roquefort cheese to be sold in Australia.

After a year of safety assessment, Food Standards Australia New Zealand has "concluded that if Roquefort cheese is manufactured according to the schedule of regulatory and industry processes provided by the French government, it poses a low risk to the health and safety of consumers."

If passed into code, the cheese matured in limestone caves under Roquefort-sur-Soulzon in southwest France could be on sale here sometime after September.

Will Studd, who began importing French cheese into Australia in the early 1980s and who has been awarded the Merite Agricole by the French government for services to agriculture, on Wednesday hailed the recommendation.

"God bless the French government, they stepped in and made an application to change the rules for Roquefort," he said.

Studd has been a vigorous advocate of re-introducing Roquefort cheese to Australian tables, going as far as importing 100 kilograms (220 pounds) of the food in 2003 to allow officials to test it and ceremoniously burying most of it covered in the French flag when they refused.

"I think what it means is that, finally, Australians will have a choice," said Studd, who in 2000 was made an 'Ambassadeur-Maitre Fromager' by the French cheesemakers' guild.

The decision also paves the way for the sale of other raw milk cheeses with the Food Standards Australia New Zealand considering reviewing industry standards to allow local producers to make and sell raw milk products, a spokeswoman said.

"We will be looking at other ways of producing dairy products that means they are as safe as pasteurised products," she said.

Jerry-Rigging The Bears

2005-03-11T12:25:00.000-06:00

The roster of veteran NFL QB’s available to the Bears has been substantially reduced in the last few days. Kurt Warner chose Arizona, Jay Fiedler opted for the Jets and Kelly Holcomb ended up in Buffalo. The few viable candidates that remain are seeking a starting job, particularly Jeff Garcia and Brad Johnson. I don’t expect either to sign here. Of the second tier group, only Mike McMahon of Detroit excites and he just signed with the Eagles. Still, he’d only have been third best on Lovie Smith’s roster.

There are some who insist Rex Grossman needs to be challenged for the starting job and if Warner had come to Chicago, such would have been the case. Now there’s nobody on the horizon I want as number one. It’s Sexy Rexy’s job as far as I’m concerned. The injury prone debate is nothing more than wasted energy. A broken finger and a freak knee injury on a bad artificial surface (Minnesota) does not a trend make. I look for Grossman to flourish under Ron Turner. Recent free agent additions Mushin Muhammed (wideout) and Fred Miller (offensive tackle) make Grossman and back-up Chad Hutchinson better quarterbacks.

Speaking of Hutchinson, he proved his mettle last year, working under intolerable circumstances protected by a papier-mâché line and tutored by an addle-brained offensive coordinator. With those circumstances corrected, Hutchinson should be a good number two, but no way does he challenge Grossman.

Bears GM Jerry Angelo has positioned himself well for the upcoming draft. I look for him to trade down and go for quantity without sacrificing on the quality side of things. Kudos, if he can move down, gain a pick and grab running back Carnell Williams (Auburn) and linebacker Kevin Burnett (Tennessee). The Bears need a good alternative to Thomas Jones and they just don’t appreciate Anthony Thomas. At linebacker, I’ve seen enough of Hunter Hillenmeyer and Joe Odom.

As always, in March the Bears look like a team that can make the playoffs. Improvements have been made with a few more needed. We’ll know more after the draft.

On the bright side, I just received my season ticket invoice and my seats remain the same price as last year…I’m happy!

America The Beautiful, Again

2005-03-09T11:00:00.000-06:00

If Osama Bin Laden wasn't public enemy number one, he is now with the shocking news recently revealed in newspapers around the globe. Is there no limit to his nefarious pursuits? Read on (from USA Today):

Russell Crowe says Osama bin Laden's al-Qaeda terror network wanted to kidnap him as part of a "cultural destabilization plot," according to an Australian magazine.

In an interview published in the March edition of Australia's GQ magazine, Crowe said FBI agents told him of the threat in 2001, in the months before he won a best actor Oscar for his role as Maximus in Gladiator.

"That was the first (time) I'd ever heard the phrase 'al-Qaeda,'" Crowe said. "It was about — and here's another little touch of irony — taking iconographic Americans out of the picture as sort of a cultural destabilization plot," he added.

Crowe was born in New Zealand and has a ranch in eastern Australia but made his name in Hollywood.

It was not clear if there were other targets in the plot.

Crowe said he was shadowed by FBI agents after the threat and hired private security guards.

Thankfully the old "Master and Commander" was spared but this targeting of our so-called icons begs examination. Wishing harm to no person, rather a long vacation to a distant exoplanet, I've compiled a worthy manifest:

Bill Mahr
Barbra Streisand
Michael McCaskey
Teresa Heinz-Kerry
Madonna
Rick Telander
Jimmy Carter
Don Imus
Katrina vanden Heuvel
Sean Hannity

Yeah, I know Sean's a conservative but I've had him up to here. It's time he went off to "Hannitize" a solar system far, far away! I've decided to keep Michael Moore around for a "there but the grace of God" example.

If these folks can be convinced to take up residence light years from here, our plains will be more fruitful, our seas will shine more brightly, our waves of grain will appear a richer amber and church bells will ring throughout our alabaster cities.

Please, let me have this moment...

Pitching, Frank and Snooze Control

2005-03-08T12:21:00.000-06:00

The White Sox brain trust has decided on the pitching and defense direction of things after years of unproductive longball seasons. Carlos Lee out, Scott Podsednik in. Magglio Ordonez out, Jermaine Dye in. Jose Valentin out, Juan Uribe in. On the surface, it's a change of direction I applaud. My old school mentality still embraces the notion that good pitching produces winners in any sport. Add a decent defense and pennants should result. Granted, the aforementioned recipe isn't sexy but neither is watching the Twins go to the post season. On paper (and there's the operative disclaimer), the Sox should be better, even if the starters are getting spanked early in spring training. No sense getting too twisted by the early results; let's just file it away for now and keep our fingers crossed.

Mark Buehrle and Freddy Garcia will be fine and Jon Garland was made to be a fifth starter; not much to offer except innings and little expected. A 12-12 record here will be just fine, thanks. It's the Cuban twosome that gives pause. Is El Duque too old? Is Jose Contreras too inconsistent? GM Kenny Williams' master plan depends on these two and a lack of production here means another disappointing season on 35th St. But like I said, it's early.

Frank Thomas is in camp; 15 pounds lighter and talking a blue streak with the local scribes. With Sammy Sosa plying his trade in Maryland, Thomas has the town to himself, homerun-wise. However, Thomas' mood can turn on a dime and one discouraging word from Ozzie Guillen could put him in a pout.

Wasn't feeling good over the weekend, so I decided on an afternoon nap. Tossed and turned a bit then decided to catch a few innings of the White Sox on the radio. Ed Farmer and John Rooney had me snoring in a flash.

But like I said, it's early!

Who Gives A Flyin' Fling!

2005-03-03T14:35:00.000-06:00

OK, great Steve Fossett is back safe and sound and that, of course is a good thing. Beyond that, what's all the hubbub, Bub?

Perhaps I'm overlooking something. Give me the Wright Brothers, Charles Lindberg or Neil Armstrong. These heroes of flight changed the world but what is Fossett's contribution to the course of human events? A better on-board solid waste disposal system? Perhaps McDonald's will introduce the Fossett "low-residue" milkshake similar to that which the pilot subsisted upon in order to limit the need to answer nature`s call.

Equally unimportant is the imminent release of that most heinous of all public enemies, Martha Stewart. Leaving Camp Cupcake after five months of arduous incarceration, Stewart returns to a $1,000,000 salary and a stock that has quadrupled since she was sent off to the slammer. Apparently, an "Apprentice" type television gig awaits her once she regains her bearings and shakes the Alderson Prison dust off her Gucci's. Additionally, the SEC has some plans for Ms. Stewart but the worst is over and she'll be back on the job, though remanded to her estate as part of her sentence. Poor baby!

Now, for more important matters; Jerry Angelo's next big free agent decision. Will it be Kurt Warner, Jay Fiedler or Brad Johnson? Of course, any one of these vets will be required to hold a clipboard while Sexy Rexy Grossman leads the Bears, but for the right price one of them will call Chicago home. Personally, I'm hoping Warner sees the light and opts to join "The Beloved". In the event Grossman fails or goes down, he'll step in and team up with Mushin Muhammad, terrorizing NFC North cornerbacks.

I'm not buying into the Chad Hutchinson as #2 hype just yet.

The Age of Silliness Ends

2005-03-02T10:34:00.000-06:00

Kudos and congratulations to Jerry Angelo on his recent daily double. His quick, decisive move to sign Muhsin Muhammad improved the team on two counts; acquiring a prolific wide receiver (93 grabs in 2004) while extinguishing the disappointing David Terrell era.

Shed no tears for Terrell, he had his chances. From the first dropped pass of his rookie season to the final gun of his final game, good old #83 has been a monumental flop; second only to the addle-brained Cade McNown. In retrospect, Dick Jauron was correct when he surmised Terrell had no business on the field. Coach Dick didn't trust Terrell based on his poor practice habits. The ex-Wolverine talked a good game but never grasped the concept of being a professional. His successes were often more embarrassing than his failures. Who can forget his end-zone leap and punt down in Champaign and a variety of unsportsmanlike penalties?

"Our decision to release David had nothing to do with his passion for the game or the effort he gave us on Sunday," Angelo told local scribes. "He brought a lot of energy to the game. He also was one of our leading contributors in our community programs. He gave a lot to Chicago."

It is, what it is. Terrell was brought to Chicago to provide receptions and touchdowns. Perhaps he'll land on his feet and finally get it right. There is always a GM or coach out there feeling they have the magic touch.

Happily, he's somebody else's problem now.

Canseco Saves Biggest Hit For Last

2005-02-17T13:33:00.000-06:00

Matt Nascone of the Auburn University Plainsman wrote the following regarding Jose Canseco and his controversial book, "Juiced...":

"I am furious.

The game I have grown up loving is being tainted by the stupidity of a few.

Baseball is America's pastime and there are a few people who are ruining the image of the game with their actions.

Jose Canseco is the most recent culprit. Canseco is trying to get publicity for his new book so he is spreading all sorts of rumors about current and retired players.

Canseco is the most hated man in baseball right now because of his accusations. He said in his book that he stuck Mark McGwire with a steroid needle when he played in Oakland in the late 80's and early 90's. McGwire came out and denied the accusations, saying that he has never done steroids.

This just goes to show how low someone will stoop to make a buck. The man who suffered many injuries in his career is trying to bring down as many players with him as he can."

Mr. Nascone's passion is admirable though misplaced. The rancor he sends Canseco's way is echoed by numerous pundits, commentators and fans, which is remarkable. The use of growth steroids has been in vogue for years, all the while MLB, media and fans winked and chuckled as pumped-up users shattered long ball records. Thumpers like Bonds, McGwire, Sosa and Giambi thrilled millions of paying customers with incredible displays of power, apparently generated by drugs. Now, baseball "purists" wail, gnash and tear at their garments like outraged Jerusalem Pharisees. Canseco is their favorite whipping boy.

People who write books to make a few shekels while telling an interesting story. The former "Bash Brother" is entitled to his literary attemp. Meanwhile, he has created interest and the cash should begin to roll in. In so doing, he's set himself up for a steady diet of lumps.

It reminds me of that line from Oliver Stone's JFK, where the Jim Garrison character, played by Kevin Costner laments the manner with which a potential witness is discredited.

"Does that bother you, Bill? I always wondered in court why it is because a woman is a prostitute, she has to have bad eyesight."

However good Jose's eyesight is, it's his motivation and integrity that's been called into question. Sadly baseball knew all along it was dirty, but refused to wash away the filth. To Canseco's credit, he's pointing a accusatory finger at the game and a thumb at himself.

Ultimate Sack-rifice

2005-02-08T10:15:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, in the wake of New England’s third Super Bowl in four years, I was lamenting...OK...whining...about the state of my beloved Bears and the dearth of playoff appearances for this once proud franchise. Sitting in front of the Sony, watching Happy Patriots dancing beneath clouds of confetti makes one wonder..."what would I give to experience such a celebration featuring our Monsters of the Midway?” What would any of us sacrifice?

Any suggestions?

Perhaps we aren’t as passionate as we believe ourselves to be; at least not to the extent of this plucky Welsh Rugby fan. A Welsh police spokesperson explains.

"We received a call from the ambulance service (in South Wales) at approximately 9pm on the 5th to inform us of a situation at the Leigh Social Club in which a man had indeed severed his own testicles."

"If Wales wins, I'll cut my own balls off," he proclaimed.

Whatever happened to the days of eating ones hat or dancing naked down Main Street?

After his team's 11-9 victory, said fanatic is reported to have gone outside and severed his testicles before bringing them back into the club to show fellow revelers, Jim Beaming with pride, no doubt. One of his mates remarked that his friend was on medication and should not have been drinking.

Ya think???

Short of surgical reattachment, perhaps he will take a cue from Eleanor Rigby and keep them stored in a jar by the door. Who are they for?

Anyway...we draw the line a good distance from self-mutilation, reasoning quite correctly that attending local sporting events is abusive enough. PSL’s, high-ticket prices and $5.00 beers is a steep price, along with undying loyalty.

As for these Markunas family jewels, they remain safely tucked away!

An Old Beatle, Former Bears and Hope

2005-02-07T15:41:00.000-06:00

The best thing about Super Bowl XXXIX was the halftime song stylings of Paul McCartney and his back up troubadours. The balance of the evening's events are shrouded in a boring haze of three and outs and misguided missiles made of pigskin. New England is no doubt a dynasty in the making if you get your kicks from such inane conversations, but the real question is...What's with Donovan McNabb?

One minute, the pride of Mt. Carmel is lofting wounded geese and the next he's launching laser beams for touchdowns. Methinks, Romeo Crennel's charges got to him early enough to create confusion and self-doubt in good old #5's cranium.

Anyway, the Pats have collected three of the last four Lombardi trophies while the good citizens of Chicago still wait for the Bears to sniff the playoffs. Hey Rosey Colvin and Jim Miller were in attendance and they are ex-Bears. So that must count for something. And wasn't that ex-Bear coach Ivan Fears I saw on the Pats sideline. I'm sure I saw former Monster, Paul Grasmanis on the Eagles bench, injured but elated to be at the Super Bowl.

Perhaps our heroes will ride the Lovie Smith train to a Super Bowl before the last chapter is written on his tenure in Chicago.

I spin fantasies,
Water lily fictions,
Jasmine dreams

Because the truth
is too cruel to be real.

Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Baker

2005-02-03T10:49:00.000-06:00

In a classic example of closing the barn door after the prize heifer has escaped, Cubs Manager Dusty Baker wants to talk to Baltimore’s newest prize bovine, Sammy Sosa about last year’s problems. Now that Sosa has laid claim to Baltimore as his new “house” and is wowing Marylanders with his special brand of happy talk, manager Dusty Baker wants to chit the chat with his former slugger.

"I'm going to talk to him. I'm going to call him. I call anybody that's traded away from the team I'm on and I talk to everyone that's traded to the team I'm on,” Baker told local scribes. "I'd like to know what the problem was—which still hasn't been said. I haven't changed my views or my bewilderment about things."

Earth to Dusty; Sammy Sosa is Lee Mazzilli’s problem now. Let the Oriole Manager attend to Sosa’s tender sensibilities. Your time would be better spent preparing for a season filled with fewer long balls and a suspect bullpen.

Cubs Sans Sosa Have Issues

2005-02-01T13:22:00.000-06:00

It appears the Cubs and their fans are about to get what they’ve been pining for since the end of the 2004 season. Sammy Sosa is all but gone to Baltimore and the well spoken, respectful Jerry Hairston Jr. is on his way. Sure the Cubs received a couple of minor leaguers who may produce someday, but launching Sosa was the goal, apparently at any price. They also shipped a big box of money to Maryland.

Most Cubs fans calling sports radio, do so to bury and not praise Sosa, forgetting how they swooned every time he swung and hopped or waited breathlessly in anticipation of his first inning outfield sprint. Oh, how they quivered when he rounded the bases with an American flag some years ago. Great theatre, at least on Clark and Addison.

Indications are Sosa was giant pain-in-the-ass back then, but 66 taters buy a boatload of forgiveness. A helmet cracking beaning and a corked bat later, you end up on the pay no mind list. That’s a condition from which Sosa could not recover. With the applause fading and his position in the batting order moving south, good old #21 decided he didn’t love “his team”, “his house”, “his city” anymore. Now Baltimore is his favorite place to be.

In his wake, Cubs GM Jim Hendry is scrambling for a stick to play right field. The name most often referenced is Jeromy Burnitz, which has had an underwhelming effect on the locals. Again, the Cubs’ crusade for another playoff appearance would be better served if ex-White Sox Magglio Ordonez was signed and offered Sosa’s old office in right field. The Cubs can well afford the money Mags is seeking, given their license to print the stuff.

Failing that, the “Little Blue Machine” could start the season with Hairston Jr. in left, Burnitz in right and something called Ryan Dempster as closer. Heavens to Moose Moryn!

Roll that around in your mouth, Cub fans!

Star Shine, Part II

2005-01-29T13:54:00.000-06:00

On January 19th, I wrote that Cubs Jim Hendry would do well to bring Magglio Ordonez to the North side. Now, with rumors that Hendry is close to trading Sammy Sosa to Baltimore, right field is open for Mags. Sure Detroit is wooing him, but if Hendry wants him, he's as good as here.

With Sosa gone and consummate team player Ordonez in Cubs pinstripes, "The Little Blue Machine" is a lock to get back to the playoffs.

Reportedly, the Orioles are offering Naperville's Jerry Hairston Jr. and a couple of farmhands, but does that really matter? If the Cubs received nothing, they would be much improved.

But if Hendry passes on Ordonez, it's half a loaf at best. Ordonez in Detroit shouldn't happen and Cubs GM Hendry should see to it!

God Will, Carlos Won't

2005-01-28T11:59:00.000-06:00

If anyone out there has a problem with Carlos Delgado and his "God Bless America' stance (or lack there of), let him know the next time he shows up at Wrigley Field. Better yet don't show up and save your money. You see, CD opposes the Iraq War and chooses not to hang around when "God Bless America" is played. It's only heard regularly at Yankee Stadium. WCR isn't sure what his position is on the National Anthem.

"The reason why I didn't stand for God Bless America was because I didn't like the way they tied God Bless America and 9/11 to the war in Iraq in baseball."

Whatever!

"The Marlins don't support it, and we don't not support it," team president David Samson said when asked about Delgado's form of protest.

Ass-pains like Delgado, Ted Kennedy and Michael Moore are like bad weather...get used to them.

Play Ball!

The Icy NHL Truth: Less Is More

2005-01-26T13:12:00.000-06:00

The New National Hockey League

Last minute negotiations aside, the only thing that will save the NHL is a good dose of contraction. If anything gets settled now it's because the owners are looking to pick up some quick cash with a watered down, last minute season and Stanley Cup.

The owners started this fight, they should have the testicular fortitude to see it through!

Northern	Eastern	Central	Western
Philadelphia	New Jersey	Chicago	Colorado
Ottawa	Buffalo	Minnesota	Vancouver
Montreal	Islanders	Detroit	Calgary
Pittsburgh	Rangers	Toronto	Edmonton
Washington	Boston	St. Louis	Dallas

Of course, this will never happen, but it's the only way to convince this former NHL fan to give them a second look.

Sun Rises On White Sox

2005-01-25T11:53:00.000-06:00

The transformation of the Chicago White Sox is nearly complete. General Manager Kenny Williams has tinkered and toyed to the point where the one time South Side Thumpers are now poised to win their division with a delicious concoction of speed and defense. Happily there still appears to be enough offense to support one of the best staffs in the American League.

The latest ingredient in this South Side Stew is infielder Tadahito Iguchi, late of the Fukouka Daiei Hawks. Iguchi joins countryman reliever Shingo Takatsu who saved 19 games for the Pale Hose last year. The Iguchi signing effectively ends the frustrating Willie Harris experiment. Harris now becomes a super-sub who can play outfield, infield and pinch run.

It remains to be seen if the Talented Mr. Iguchi can adapt to major league competition, but there’s no doubting Williams’ desire to overtake the Twins in the A.L. Central, drastically altering last years roster. Since the close of business in September, Williams has added:

Scott Podsednik
Jermaine Dye
Dustin Hermanson
A.J. Pierzynski
Orlando Hernandez
Luis Vizcaino
Tadahito Iguchi

Podsednik and Iguchi add speed while Hermanson and Hernandez further strengthen a good pitching staff. The best news of all is Jon Garland goes from a disappointing fourth to a respectable fifth, where his 12-12 record and 200 innings becomes meaningful.

The Twins always find a way to trump the White Sox but GM Williams has the Comiskey faithful projecting line-ups and pitching rotations a month before spring training kicks off.

Super Bears Deemed Unworthy

2005-01-23T01:16:00.000-06:00

There probably isn't a hell of a lot of difference between former Bear Leslie Frazier and new Bears DB Coach Perry Fewell. Both have decent resumes having spent time in other cities honing their coaching skills. Frazier has a big edge in playing experience, having distinguished himself with the Bears at cornerback, culminating in a Super Bowl XX appearance. In that game, Frazier blew out his knee in an unfortunate special teams play, which ultimately ended his playing days.

Fewell won out over Frazier to replace Vance Bedford because of his past relationship with Lovie Smith in St. Louis where all reports indicate he performed admirably.

Smith addressed the employment of former Bears at his inaugural news conference last year, saying they would be strongly considered when talent and experience were equal. Frazier has been a DB Coach Philadelphia and an Defensive Coordinator in Cincinnati until launched by Marvin Lewis. Heck, in the NFL you haven’t really made your bones until you've been fired what with all the retreads floating around. Why not Frazier?

Another former woof-woofer who wasn't good enough to coach for the Toothless Losers of the Midway is Mike Singletary. Former Coach Dick Jauron couldn't live without Linebacker Coach Gary Moeller, thus passing on Samurai Mike. Makes you sick, doesn’t it? Singletary moved on to Baltimore to coach for the Ravens and has recently been named Assistant Head Coach in San Francisco by new 49er Coach Mike Nolan.

Bear fans reacted with enthusiasm when Ron Rivera was hired as Defensive Coordinator and he did an outstanding job this year. Its unfortunate he wasn’t allowed to add old teammate Frazier to his staff. Granted the decision will have little impact on whether the team makes the playoffs, but its bad business to turn your back on past glories, especially when they’ve been few.

Papa Bear employed old war-horses like Phil Handler, Clark Shaughnessy and Luke Johnsos as coaches because they worked cheap, while letting George Allen move on to incredible success elsewhere. However, his decision to bring back former employee Mike Ditka proved visionary although Iron Mike took the job for a pittance back in 1982. Nevertheless, he was the first building block in the construction of the 1985 juggernaut.

Hopefully, the Lovie Train chugs merrily along, achieving exhilarating accomplishments. If not, perhaps, a 49er assistant Coach will lead the next Bears Super Bowl team; if someone at Halas Hall has the guts to hire him.

This Star Should Shine In Chicago

2005-01-19T14:51:00.000-06:00

When Magglio Ordonez was healthy and playing for the White Sox, he was the best ball player in town, regardless of position. Overshadowed by Sammy Sosa and the Cubs while toiling for the nondescript South Siders, he averaged 32 HR and 118 RBI. A dangerous clutch hitter, while playing solid right field, Ordonez turned down a lucrative contract and ended up with a season ending injury that jeopardized his career.

Recent reports of state of the art treatment and a hopeful recovery have made him the apple of some general managers, including Jim Hendry of the Cubs. Although I find the sight of Ordonez in Cubbie pinstripes personally distasteful, GM Hendry would do well to sign the 30 year old Venezuelan before he leaves Chicago altogether.

Why?

First, a healthy Ordonez takes over right field for the Cubs and gives them another super star. Second, short of giving him away, the Cubs will continue to be burdened with the phony and self-absorbed Sammy Sosa. That being the case, he can replace the departed Moises Alou. Third and most important, Chicago baseball fans deserve the opportunity to enjoy a wonderful player of Ordonez's ilk.

Hendry has been strangely inactive this off-season, save for a few cats and dogs he signed to minor league contracts. While his South Side counterpart, Kenny Williams has stretched his meager budget to the limit, Hendry continues to hoard the Tribune's millions stashed in his war chest.

No doubt Hendry will be attending Ordonez's soon to be held workouts. Chicago fans, regardless of allegiance, should hope he brings his checkbook!

Dumb Deed Gets Punished

2005-01-18T10:07:00.000-06:00

So WMVP parted ways with Jay Mariotti because he was too hard on Owner Jerry (Reinsdorf) and his Bulls and White Sox, management's weak denial (both team's games are broadcast by the station) notwithstanding. They're left with a parade of applicants for the 9-Noon time slot; Marc Silverman and Carmen DeFalco, Marc Silverman and Dan Jiggetts and now a syndicated something called "The Herd with Colin Cowherd". Other names mentioned for possible employment include Norm Van Lier (is he still alive?) and Rob Dibble (why?).

As recent ratings numbers indicate, it wasn’t broke but ESPN 1000 tried to fix it and now they’re scrambling to fill the slot. WMVP scored big when they went local and made impressive gains against WSCR, "The Score" but they are poised to give it all back with this massive blunder.

Short of bringing back the always opinionated and sometimes wishy-washy Mariotti, WMVP would do well to stay local and give the gig to Silverman and Jiggetts. Chicagoan Silverman has personality, is a fan but professional and not afraid to mete out criticism when it is due. The veteran Jiggetts brings the ex-Bear factor, which always scores well with the locals.

Recent changes at WSCR haven't yielded much but they seem to be committed to them. In so doing, they’ve opened the door for WMVP to put a vice grip on local fan's listening habits. The Mariotti decision has put all that in jeopardy.

It's The Best Of Times

2005-01-14T09:17:00.000-06:00

One of these years the Bears will once again participate in the most glorious of NFL weekends. Until then, I'll live vicariously through joyous fans in other towns. Here's how it will go

Saturday:

Steelers over Jets....Ben R. gives Chad a good ribbing!
Falcons over Rams...Vick's rubbing of Rams complete!

Sunday:

Eagles over Vikings...Philly rolls Moss, Homeboy McNabb advances!
Patriots over Colts...Bill B's defense corrals Manning!

Great Scott, Chill Out!

2005-01-13T10:45:00.000-06:00

John Paxson and Scott Skiles have the Bulls running in the right direction at last. Proving once again the old saw about patience, GM and Coach stuck to their guns and continued to preach their own NBA gospel, resulting in a happy turnaround for their youthful cagers after a miserable start.

Now all eyes on on Skiles (at least mine are) to see if he can parlay this success into a playoff slot. My fear is that he'll slowly lose his players by overdoing the "this coach is never happy" routine. Skiles is correct to poo-poo the playoff talk by keeping his crew focused on quality improvement but he's making a grave mistake if he doesn't let the kids enjoy what they've accomplished.

Everything in moderation, I say. A well intentioned kick in the ass is always more effective when it's followed by a heartfelt pat on the back. I don't have the first idea how to coach a basketball team but I know people and now's the time for Skiles to ease up, just a little, with the bad cop routine.

Then he can frown all the way to the playoffs!

The Mostest With The Leastest

2005-01-12T16:39:00.000-06:00

While teams like the Red Sox, Yankees and Mets muscle up to the free agent trough, Kenny Williams continues to tinker under the miserly Jerry Reinsdorf. Owner Jerry, like Hyman Roth in Godfather II, "always makes money for his partners". In so doing, he has Williams hog tied when it comes to bringing big league talent to 35th St.

Regardless, Williams continues to function without complaint, trading Carlos Lee for Scott Podsednik, signing Jermaine Dye to replace Magglio Ordonez and former Minnesota nemesis Pierzynski to improve the catching. You wonder what this guy could do with a major league budget.

White Sox fans appreciate Williams' tenacity if not the overall result. The fact that he's does his best to field a competitive team makes it easier to reach into your poke for an occasional visit to Comiskey Cell on a warm summer night.

To Every Season Turner, Turner, Turner...

2005-01-12T12:54:00.000-06:00

Who hired Ron Turner? Lovie Smith...Jerry Angelo...Ted Phillips?

Who cares???

He's here and stands head and shoulders above the likes of Gary Crowton, John Shoop and Terry Shea. Does anyone who bleeds navy and orange doubt that the offense immediately improved with his arrival? Fact is, the improvement will die on the vine if he doesn't figure a way to protect Rex Grossman, Chad Hutchinson and whoever.

Turner brings Harry Hiestand, his O-Line coach from Illinois and that's where it all starts. Drafting a receiver is meaningless if the QB continues to munch on the Soldier Field greensward.

Here I Go Again

2005-01-12T02:35:00.000-06:00

Another season in Soldier Field's North End Zone has come and gone and I've gotten the itch to say a few things. Perhaps it's therapeutic or maybe I need something to divert my attention until the NFL Draft in April. And the wheel keeps on turning...

We've come to realize that we can live without the Black Hawks so what else is there besides the Bears and my hapless White Sox? Oh yeah, that team up north. Hell, we can talk about them too; especially if they sign Mags Ordonez. But that's a topic for later.

Anyway, it's a New Year, so let's have some fun!